Thursday 7th January 2010, 05:50

Goldfish! Goldfish - Always believe in your soulfish...

Yesterday we bought a Christmas tree (a Nordman Fir, since you ask, who I'm sure was bass guitarist with A-ha), and while we were there, we bought a goldfish on a whim. You know what it's like at these shops. In Tesco, you've bought your groceries, get to the till and there's a Mars bar, so you buy the Mars bar. Similarly at the garden centre, everyone's buying trees, holly and/or mistletoe, so what's the best accompaniment to go with that that they put near the tills to lure you in? A goldfish.

This one's named Robbie. We have a tradition of naming goldfish after the first name we hear on the radio as we drive away from the pet shop/Christmas Tree outlet. And this time we were foolishly tuned into Magic, so it was only ever going to be Robbie, Ronan or, this time of year, Mariah. I'm thinking this is a tradition we should keep for naming everything from goldfish to dogs to children. I love the idea of explaining one day to a 10-year-old named Spoony, "Well, we had Radio 1 on by accident..."

Given that Robbie is our 9th fish, I figure that any day now I'll sadly forget the names of previous fish, so this blog serves to store for posterity the fish of yesteryear. We will remember them...

Jerry - Jerry was the first to go. Odd since we named him after the character in The Good Life (pre-dating our 'radio name' rule), and Paul Eddington who played Jerry was the first (and currently only) member of the cast to pass on. The fish carried on that curse.
Tom - Again, Tom & Jerry were not named after the cat-and-mouse cartoon, but after The Good Life. We happened to name these two after the men, and true to form they popped their clogs earlier than the women.
Barbara - Barbara & Margot stuck around for a little while, and even survived a house move. For a bit.
Margot - Margot won The Good Life survival stakes. So we got her some friends...
Harriet - It's here we started naming after people mentioned on the radio. We turned on to the news, where they spoke of Harriet Harman and...
Gordon - ...Brown. Typically Gordon stuck around the longest, and far longer than anyone expected. Also typically, he was rather podgy with funny eyes.
Walter - When Gordon was left alone, we got Walter, a giant-finned golder-than-goldfish, named after a character on a Radio 4 play. That took 5 minutes to name him. Frustrating sample dialogue: "Are you going to run off with him?" "Run off with who?" "You know who. Do I have to say his name again?" (Us: Yes!) "I can't bring myself to say his name..." (Say his bloody name!) "Go on, say it." (Please!) "It's... it's Walter, isn't it?" (Oh, is that it?)
Marigold Heyworth - We use her full name, cos that entire name is perfect for a goldfish. Named after someone who wrote a letter to Radio 4. Little does she know that letter prompted a fish to be named after her...
Robbie - And now the latest new fish on the block joins Marigold Heyworth. A fine two-tone red-and-white little fishette. Long may he remain with us, long enough even for Spoony to be able to play with him...


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