Wednesday 1st April 2009, 12:41
Not Going Out lives up to its name
...or other lazy puns about Not Going Out not going out. But then lazy punning is very convenient when what's happened is a sitcom called Not Going Out will no longer be going out.
Yes, it's been axed by the powers that be. A great shame, partly of course because as one of the writers' names that whizzes past at the end just before the screen minimises to plug Horne and Corden, that means a loss of work. But to be less selfish for a moment, also a great shame cos it was a show I wrote for that I actually really really liked.
I like jokes, and it had 'em. I want list any here simply because there are so many and I wouldn't know where to begin, but have a quick google and you'll find plenty. Lee (Mack - star, writer, exec producer) is a tough man to satisfy, in terms of script gagging-up, but that's a great thing for the final product. Many's the time I'd send a script back to him with my contributions, and I'd get the script back again of an evening with a request for another look at it, back by tomorrow morning please. Tight turnaround, but it ensured the scripts had eight jokes a page rather than the industry standard of three.
Granted, quantity of jokes isn't everyone's benchmark for a sitcom (it clearly failed to impress whoever's axed it), but for myself, and many others who watched it, it was a welcome refreshment from other sitcoms that, while full of quirky characters or darkly comic situations, often only made you laugh out loud once or twice in its half-hour. I just hope that the shows's cancellation doesn't mean the powers that be are turning their back on this more traditional type of sitcom - yes I like some no-laughter-track, single-camera, on-location, edgier sitcoms, but not all of them. So here's hoping there's still room for one or two gaggier, studio-audience style ones.
I feel like this is a eulogy for a job I've had, which feels odd. I should add I don't feel Not Going Out was my baby or anything - it was 100% Lee's show. I think it's more like a nephew. But now it's a nephew I'm not going to see any more, except for when I video'd that nephew... Now this analogy's got weird.
Friday 27th March 2009, 00:30
Marley & Me, and me
Finally saw Marley & Me yesterday. If you haven't seen nor heard of it, it's about a dog, and the effect of said dog on the relationship of his owners. It's based on a book by John Grogan, the guy Owen Wilson plays in the film, so it's all a true story, and charts the life of this quite normal couple from when they get Marley as a puppy to when Marley finally, erm, well I don't want to ruin it but...
Put it this way, it's a heartstring-tugger. And I went into this film knowing the ending, and knowing it was described as 'sentimentality porn' by Mark Kermode. For an hour I sat there and watched the relatively uneventful life of this couple unfold on the screen (for better or for worse, the life of this couple is very 'real', so there are no big shock affairs, murder plots, double-crossings etc), thinking "Any minute now they're going to try and make us cry. I'll get through this. It's only a dog. A dog whose fate I know. And I know full well they'll do anything to activate those tear-ducts. We can do this, Paul. Stare them out, with dry eyes..."
"Your dog's looking a bit peaky."
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh.
Couldn't help it. The very hint that Marley may have the vaguest of limps, a good 20 minutes off any kind of final resolution to his storyline (still not technically giving anything away here...), and I was bawling like a baby. Like a baby girl. Well, like a 30 year-old guy who's already seen two of his own dogs (of the same breed, no less) go through a similar thing, whose parents have yet two more dogs of a similar breed, who - as in the film - is trying to convince his wife-to-be that a dog is a key part to a family home - for the uplifting, the downbeat, the good, the bad and the Marley. So for a good chunk of this film, I was Owen Wilson. Oh and great - as I'm typing this, iTunes has decided to shuffle onto Everybody Hurts by REM. Brilliant.
Ah well. Cathartic to have a good cry now and then. And do I still want a dog? Eventually, yes. But far enough into the future that I've forgotten the ending of this film, and that dogs do eventually die.
Oh balls. Gave away the ending now.
Wednesday 25th March 2009, 13:34
Pick Your Artist
Saw one of these on someone's facebook page. They had a much cooler band, but I've chosen Roxette, obviously...
Pick Your Artist: Roxette
Are you male or female: Anyone
Describe yourself: Dressed For Success
How do you feel about yourself: Fading Like A Flower
Describe where you currently live: View From A Hill
If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Wish I Could Fly
Your favorite form of transportation: Joyride
How you met your significant other: Sleeping In My Car
Your best friends are: Anyone
Your favorite color is: Watercolours In The Rain
What's the weather like: Waiting For The Rain
Favorite time of day: June Afternoon
If your life was a TV show, what would it be called: Joy of a Toy
Describe your job: Knockin' On Every Door
What is life to you: Fireworks
What is the best advice you have to give: Listen To Your Heart
If you could change your name, what would it be: The Big L
Your favorite food is: Real Sugar
Your favorite drink is: Milk And Toast And Honey
Thought for the Day: Never Is A Long Time
How I would like to die: Crash! Boom! Bang!
How would you like to be remembered: Half A Woman, Half A Shadow
My soul's present condition: Soul Deep
The faults I cannot bear: The Look
My motto: Love Is All
Saturday 21st March 2009, 02:55
Lost in Asda car park
I guess this blog sometimes acts as a little insight into the life of a stand-up comedian on the road. Well try this snapshot for size: Me, in Asda car park in Hereford, on a Friday night, in the back seat of my car, watching an episode of Lost on my laptop.
I feel I should explain, but the explanataion is probably exactly what you expect it to be. I aimed to get to the gig early, so I could a bite to eat, but my chains of choice were notably absent (Beefeater, Harvester, Toby Carvery...), so it was all local, American Werewolf in London, stop playing chess there's an unfamiliar walked in, type of places. I normally don't mind that, but I had my laptop with me, and nothing stands out more on a Friday night in a local's pub than a stranger with a laptop. (Not of course true: a lot would stand out more. Insert your own flouncy description of a thing that would stand out more here.)
In fact even pubs doing food were decidedly thin on the ground. But 24hr Asda - it was there and near the gig, and I'm trying to be healthy, so I dove in, bought a pasta salad, and returned to my car. Still 45min before I'm due at the gig. Just enough time for that episode of Lost what I downloaded. Woo. But couldn't watch it in the front seat - Hereford's a long way from Guildford (even though in my head Hereford is near Worcester, which is near Gloucester, which is near Swindon, which means Hereford must be about an hour away), so after 4 hours driving I didn't want my rest stop to be sat in the driver's seat in the same position. Ergo me, stretched out on the back seat, laptop on, Lost agogo, pasta salad in hand. In Asda car park. All fine till a security bloke came along.
Bangs on rear right car window.
"What you doing?"
"I'm watching Lost."
"Oh."
Alright not my best story for a blog post, but I'm tired.
Oh, and in response to my current gag about picking 'I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For' as a first dance at a wedding, a punter heckled tonight to say that they're getting hitched soon and have actually decided on 'Every Day I Love You Less & Less'. Nice.
Thursday 19th March 2009, 00:55
"Stag stag stag stag stag..."
Had one of them stag dos yesterday. I've seen many of them from the perspective of a stage, and how often I judge them. Well now it's my turn to be an irritating moron. Actually I think we were pretty well-behaved, and yes we were being pretty off-colour in terms of jokes and language in the 'Family Room' of a pub, but what's the worst that happened? Some kids learnt some new words.
Twas a fine do, with just a handful of old school-friends meeting up in London to drink booze, go on a Duck Tour (that's a bus that can drive on land and on sea - it's not a tour of London ducks), drink some more booze, do karaoke in a private room at a Chinese all-you-can-eat buffet (I love how many of our group went in hating karaoke and came out sing-yelling Sweet Caroline), some more booze, an 80s retro pub, some more booze, and some sleep, before a slap-up breakfast and some groaning from all who were left. Well done, best man - fitted a lot into one day there, and I really thought for a minute he'd not included a karaoke element, so well done for playing the old Duck Tour bluff to make me think I wouldn't get a sing-song.
Now I rest, not too hungover, despite the 15 drinks I think I counted yesterday. But I do leave it now more judgemental of some other stag dos - I think we proved that you can have a very fun stag do without being arseholes to the rest of the world. Next time I see one of them at a gig, I will tut loudly.