Monday 6th April 2009, 12:32

I just want to swim

A jaunt in Nottingham. Gigs included a racist stag do being kicked out within five minutes of the show starting, or at least would have been but the bouncers were Asian, so they didn't quite obey straight away. Eventually. We could have done with the stag do dressed as superheroes from the next night to sort them out.


On Saturday I tried to swim. I know how to swim - that wasn't the problem. The problem was finding a leisure centre that would let me. Four, I tried. But I'm not part of a scuba class, a swim team, an uncle-niece only session or some such rubbish, or worst of all was 'Family swim'. I was refused entry because I didn't have a child with me. In front of me went a mother with a four year-old, and after her, two seventeen year-olds. Granted, the four year-old is a child, as are the seventeen year-olds, but it's hardly mother-and-baby class then is it? It's not differentiating too helpfully if there are teenagers and toddlers going in. What difference is a thirty year-old? Unless maybe I misunderstood, and it was the 'teenager-and-toddler' session. Looked like enough teen pregnancies around there to warrant such a thing.


So no swim for me. And I return back to Surrey temporarily homeless - I've moved out of my old place but am moving into my new place in a month when I'm back from honeymoon. So in the mean time I'm at my folks' place where I used to live - a fitting send-off into married life.


My clothes are in the new house, so I'm swapping clothes over whenever I visit. Trouble is, in my rush to leave my old house last Thursday, race to Nottingham for the weekend of gigs, race back to the new house for the day, race back to my folks' house for the night... I've packed and unpacked various things thinking that what I need will balance itself out in my bag. It hasn't. I have all boxer shorts. Nineteen pairs, I counted. I'm only here for twelve days. Nineteen boxer shorts, no tops... Expect an eclectic outfit if you see me before I've managed to amend this packing situation. I'm thinking one on each arm, like arm-bands. Oh I really wanted that swim...


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